Felice Facile

Discovering an easy way

On Empowerment

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kaktus Ojai

Back to the blog. It feels good to be back. And the spring officially starts tomorrow!

From a course about children and globalization that I am currently taking I learned about two main approaches to things related to children: we (adults, society) should protect or/and empower them. I realize that the protection approach (=chicken mother instinct) is surely built in me, while I have issues with the empowerment… Hmmm, strange enough…

I have been passionately advocating “forget- that-(stupid and harmful)-discipline” position on the grounds that it ties the free spirit and creativity in children who then will grow into unhappy adults with an “I MUST” modus operandi.

I myself like when I am being empowered and inspired.

I feel so fulfilled when something that I do empowers other people.

Why then am I ready to debate this empowerment of children on a large scale for hours?

Because I see that a Chinese Cultural Revolution happend right here at home. First I invited my little agent of change and creativity to take the power and be himself. When the results became unwanted and uncontrollable I declared mobilization in order to grab the steering wheel back. Sounds like parenting fun, doesn’t it?!

Here is what I’ve learned (and still learning) from all this – which holds for relationships with both children and adults:

1. Empowerment in my case often looks like this:


I guess it is a good idea to empower others not at the expense of yourself or someone else.

2. “Empowerment” often comes under the sauce of our assumptions that “it is good for another person” (NB: tastes a bit like a protection and control broth). Who-ho: remember to be gentle with empowerment of others as most of us still like to stay in charge and have it “under control”. Empowerment means acknowledging the power of the other which is most likely going to be uncontrollable. Are you ready for the ride?

3. Empower: what? To do what? To be who? Here comes my favourite question: “What do I want”? What do we really want here? What results and processes would we like to harvest and enjoy?

Wow, I feel so empowered now:-)


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