Felice Facile

Discovering an easy way

Between “WANT TO HAVE” and “WANT TO DO”

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In one of the previous posts I dared to state that people often don’t know what they want and need to practice asking this question more often.

Wait a minute…. Don’t we all have our loooooong lists and sometimes get very upset if we don’t get what we want?

I have a little story to tell.

During the last two weeks my son has been driving a “wanting” campaign. It all started when I promised to buy yet another Lego from the series that he liked. He was very glad to receive it and played happily with it for a few days. Then he started demanding the other Lego set from the catalogue. He did not only say: I WANT THIS, but he used a rather profs move. When I was leaving him at the daycare he said: when you pick me up I want you to bring that Lego. He seemed not to hear all my explanations why it was not going to work that way. When I came back he immediately asked: well, where is my new Lego? You can imagine what happened. I could hear a deep sorrow, frustration and disappointment in this moan…Next day the story repeated. I’ve been haunted by this I WANT for a few days. Ok, I decided to negotiate. I asked him to choose one thing from the list that he absolutely wanted and would be completely satisfied. He chose one and we agreed that this was it. Deal. He was happy indeed. Guess what – next day: “I WANT another one, the one I got before was the wrong one! In addition, I WANT 10 skeletons, 7 snakes, 4 stone-worriers and 1 Sen Sei Wu”.

You get the idea. Our lists what we WANT to HAVE seem to be endless.

However, what we WANT to DO  – this is where we may get unsure.

It just occurred to me that the trick is to balance these: to create a list of things that we WANT to HAVE considering the list of things that we WANT to DO. Because if we HAVE to DO want we absolutely DON’T WANT to DO in order to get a things that we WANT to HAVE  – the will be a mismatch costing us our happy mood.

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